happy birthday, after these words from our sponsor

Dear Charlie,

...I have a confession to make.

It's about the sticker.

Brace yourself; this could be devastating. This could shake the foundation of our friendship as we know it.

Like, gone.

Like, I-turned-my-apartment-and-my-car-upside-down-multiple-times gone.

Like, I-spent-3-fucking-hours-while-visiting-my-parents-just-turning-over-everything-in-my-room gone.

I don’t know how. I don’t know why. I most certainly don't know where.

So, congratulations! Hooray! You win the sticker war!

(I don't know what you win, exactly, but I'm sure there's something.)

Though this foundational piece of our friendship is over, I hope that the loss is not too great for us to remain friends. It has been an honor fighting with you.

Yours truly,

-Kyle